My Nordic soul battles with my English soul

I have a vision for my future Nordic life, where I will join a small community in Denmark, part of the Vineyard Church and visit once a year at a Christian summer camp and keep in touch throughout the year via the Internet. However, after nearly 50 years immersed in English society and unable to speak Danish, I feel that I am struggling against my English soul.

My Nordic soul begins to dream

As much as I would like to do this or do that, at this stage I cannot commit to a particular goal. I can begin to develop my Nordic identity, which is a huge step after nearly 50 years of doing nothing.

If I can have an English identity, then why can I not have a Nordic identity? Do I need to give up 25% of my English identity in order to develop a Nordic identity? I have to devote a certain amount of time in order to develop my Nordic identity. I am awake 16 hours a day – four hours a day, realistically. If I am serious then I must put in some serious time each day with Danish language learning taking up perhaps 30 minutes a day, Fact Finding, personality development, social skills development. After work, I might have 2 hours a day spare.

What about the past 50 years where I have not had a Nordic identity? That time is gone forever. I can never get it back. I missed out on a Danish childhood. I missed out on developing into a young Danish adult. I missed out on the option to have a Danish girlfriend. Of course, I could not have lived in Denmark. I missed out on meeting my Danish family – perhaps, I don’t know, I might have missed out on meeting my Danish great-grandparents.

I wonder what my Danish family members thought about me – my grandmother’s brothers and sisters have passed but their children live on – my mother’s cousins. Their children – my cousins once removed or Second cousins – are still alive and they have children. I wonder if they ever wondered why I never met them in Denmark.

Zonta 100

Celebrating 100 Years of Zonta International

Howe's Book Valet

Howe Library's Blog on Topics of the Day

My Free Nordic Soul

My journey to freedom.

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Atavist Magazine

My journey to freedom.

Longreads

The best longform stories on the web

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.