Surviving in the Subconscious.

How could I have been so naive all these years? My Nordic soul was imprisoned in my Subconscious mind and remained a mystery to me throughout my whole life – until now, nearly 50 years after I was born.

My Nordic identity was never encouraged or nurtured by my half-Danish mother, nor by my fully Danish grandmother, despite the opportunity they had every day of my childhood.

I had known since I was a small boy that my grandmother who lived around the corner was Danish, but it never truly occurred to me that I could be part Danish.

I never really knew my Danish grandmother until after my (English) grandfather passed away when I was about 16. I guess this was only normal since, as a small boy, I didn’t have the patience or ability to engage in adult conversation and the adults didn’t want to just play all the time. As a teenager I had more ‘important’ things to do than to sit around with old people.

My identity was being shaped in my mid-teens and, as my grandmother told me about her life growing up in Denmark, I began to understand that I was part of an important family. However, I didn’t feel the strong sense that I should identify myself as part Danish when I had lived in England all my life, had never visited Denmark and could not speak a single word of Danish.

Now I realise that the reason for failing at school and the struggle to find permanent employment was because I was lost. I couldn’t live properly with only three-quarters of a soul. My soul had been severed in two – from birth. It was not my fault that I couldn’t concentrate at school. It was not my fault that I struggled at forming relationships. It was not my fault that I failed most of my school exams. It was not my fault.

I needed my Nordic soul to develop properly. I needed him to help me understand my identity. I needed him to help me form my identity. I needed him to help me develop my self-esteem and self-confidence.

I believe that God made sure that my Nordic soul survived in my Subconscious until it was time to move him into my Consciousness. Timing is everything.

Published by Brian Day

Hi, I'm Brian and I'm both English and Danish - 75% English and 25% Danish. After nearly 50 years living the English life in England, my Danish soul woke me up to the truth that I have been trapped for nearly 50 years. I have led a dysfunctional life because I have suppressed my Nordic identity. I knew my Danish grandmother well. She lived nearby and I visited her nearly every week. She told me stories of her life growing up in Denmark and about her Danish family - about my Danish great grandparents. I had a living, breathing Danish soul and spirit within me which was and is mine - it does not belong to a distant ancestor. But I never took ownership of my Danish identity. I have never known my true identity - which is English and Danish combined. This is me now - a man in search of his true identity.

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