How could I have been so naive all these years? My Nordic soul was imprisoned in my Subconscious mind and remained a mystery to me throughout my whole life – until now, nearly 50 years after I was born.
My Nordic identity was never encouraged or nurtured by my half-Danish mother, nor by my fully Danish grandmother, despite the opportunity they had every day of my childhood.
I had known since I was a small boy that my grandmother who lived around the corner was Danish, but it never truly occurred to me that I could be part Danish.
I never really knew my Danish grandmother until after my (English) grandfather passed away when I was about 16. I guess this was only normal since, as a small boy, I didn’t have the patience or ability to engage in adult conversation and the adults didn’t want to just play all the time. As a teenager I had more ‘important’ things to do than to sit around with old people.
My identity was being shaped in my mid-teens and, as my grandmother told me about her life growing up in Denmark, I began to understand that I was part of an important family. However, I didn’t feel the strong sense that I should identify myself as part Danish when I had lived in England all my life, had never visited Denmark and could not speak a single word of Danish.
Now I realise that the reason for failing at school and the struggle to find permanent employment was because I was lost. I couldn’t live properly with only three-quarters of a soul. My soul had been severed in two – from birth. It was not my fault that I couldn’t concentrate at school. It was not my fault that I struggled at forming relationships. It was not my fault that I failed most of my school exams. It was not my fault.
I needed my Nordic soul to develop properly. I needed him to help me understand my identity. I needed him to help me form my identity. I needed him to help me develop my self-esteem and self-confidence.
I believe that God made sure that my Nordic soul survived in my Subconscious until it was time to move him into my Consciousness. Timing is everything.